Gender roles
A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?" To which the Kuwaiti woman replied: "Land mines."
Wrong Book
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, sir?" "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" "What was wrong with it?" "It had way too many characters and there was no story whatsoever!" The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who took our phone book."
A gift for mother-in-law
A man, fresh out of gift ideas, bought his mother-in-law a large plot in an expensive cemetery. On her next birthday, he bought her nothing. She was quick to comment loud and long on his thoughtlessness. "Well, you haven't used the gift I gave you last year."
"Pay attention : "Are You Paying Attention?"
A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. "You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear." At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man's anus, and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them. After a couple of minutes silence, they follow suit. "The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation: I stuck my middle finger into the corpse's anus, but I licked my index."
Overweight Blonde
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping.
